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The Parental Rage (and How To Handle It)

Posted on Feb 28, 2020

Have you ever gotten angry at your kids?

Let us rephrase that.

Have you ever gotten so angry at your kids that you think your head might spin right around your body?

We’d like to take a moment to normalise head spinning anger and help you find some productive ways to handle it. And some funny ways to handle it, because while laughter has yet to bring world peace, it is pretty powerful and a great diffuser of tension.

Normalising Parental Rage

First things first, let’s just admit that we all get angry.

No matter how patient you are, or how many personal development books you read, or how long you meditate for, you are going to get angry. It’s a normal human emotion that we all feel at different levels and intensities.

Add in some kids that will not put on their shoes to that normal human emotion, tacked on top of poor sleep, a million mile long to do list, and a spouse that chooses that moment to ask “what’s for dinner tonight?” and you will get parental rage.

You have felt it boil over, we have felt it boil over. Let’s all join hands and release the shame of the rage shall we?

Handling Parental Rage Productively

There are some tried and true ways to handle your parental rage when your little hellions will not stop, collaborate, or listen. Some productive strategies include:

Deep Breathes: This one is very simple. Breathe slowly in through your nose, out through your mouth. Expand your belly, notice the little stain on your shirt. Contract your belly and think about working out later if these KIDS WOULD EVER GO TO SLEEP.
Talk About It: You could let the rage monster out in a torrent of words you will likely regret later, or you can find your spouse/friend/friendly looking stranger on the street and talk those feelings out. Sometimes your spouse/friend/friendly looking stranger is nowhere to be found in the moment, which is where technology comes into play. Texting can count as talking too!
Explain Your Feelings To Your Kids: Time to be the bigger person in this situation and swallow that rage to lead by example. Use your words and explain to your kids how you are feeling in the moment. Frustrated, sad, disappointed, worried they will be late to school and miss some important learning time with their friends. Calm words are more likely to get through to them then yelling, even though you REALLY want to yell.

Handing Parental Rage with Humour

Now let’s switch gears to strategies that aren’t necessarily “productive” but can still do the trick.

Stuff It Down: If you feel like you are about to boil over with rage, hit the pantry and grab a handful of marshmallows, a slice of bread, or a banana if you are feeling healthy. The point is, grab a soft food that you can stuff into your mouth to keep you from screaming. It’s a food based rage muzzle!
Hide: We’re not talking about playing hide and seek here, just go hide. Try the closet, the bathroom, or under a bed. Hide from your children until the rage has passed. Bring your phone so you have something to do.Our recommendations – online shopping, or looking at memes.
Burst Into Maniacal Laughter: There’s always a scene in every Disney movie where the villain laughs maniacally. It’s terrifying. So think of something really funny and then start laughing out loud, but do it like a Disney villain. You’ll feel better because you’re laughing and your kids will be terrified into listening to you. Win win!

Feeling angry with your kids is natural. Kids aren’t perfect, and we as parents certainly aren’t perfect. We are all just human beings doing the very best we can. So if you’re feeling The Parental Rage as your kids write all over the cabinets with marker, dye the dog pink, dump weetabix all over the floor, or (insert your infraction of choice here), know that you aren’t alone.

As parents, we’re all in this together! Pass the marshmallows.